Goodbye 2013, Hello 2014!

Last year around this time I wrote a similar blog about what I learned in 2012 which can be found here. My goal is to do this every year as a way to be able to see where I’ve grown and the areas that God has delivered me from. I know I said I hated 2012 but I am grateful for how it prepared me for 2013 which was indeed an eye opening year. I thought that 2012 was a year of development but looking at 2013 I would say 2012 was more of a year of preparation to get me ready for the year of development that took place in 2013. I turned 25 this year so I figured I’d do 25 things I learned in 2013!

1. The things I can do with God far exceeded anything I would have ever chosen to do on my own.
2. It’s so not about me! Everything that I go through, salvation, Changed Hearts, and everything else is so not about me. It’s about God and helping others.
3. I can’t make permanent decisions based off of temporary bad days. I can’t give up or turn from God because I’m having a bad day. God has placed people along my path who need to see me living for God even through the difficult times.
4. I began to walk in my purpose! God birthed Changed Hearts and Changed Hearts: I AM Woman this year! (www.changedheartsunited.com)
5. Living for God is difficult (but not impossible) and you have to be willing to fight for your salvation because the enemy is not taking any days off fighting against you.
6. I’m content with being 25 and not married! I was told at a revival maybe a year or two ago that I would be married at 25 and let’s just say I was waiting around for 25 to hit so I could finally have a hubby and it didn’t happen. The main thing I took away from it is that I was okay with that! I’ll be honest; what I really learned is that I’m not ready to be anyone’s wife right now. (Watch my video on the single season here!)
7. Everyone who calls themselves my friend is not. Don’t take it personal. It really is going to be okay. With that being said, use discernment in who I share things with.
8. I have to let go of who hurt me. No matter what they did or said or how betrayed I feel, let it go.
9. Be more transparent. There’s nothing to be ashamed of in my past and I can help more people by sharing my testimonies of how God has helped me to overcome in various areas of my life.
10. Don’t pretend to be okay. I have to deal with what is dealing with me on the inside or the enemy will attack me in that area and I will fail every single time.
11. God has really blessed me with great people in my life. I realized just a little bit more how much I love and adore my friends and church family.
12. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make sense. If God said to do it, do it.
13. Stop being so self conscious!!! It doesn’t matter what people will think or if they will like it.
14. I’m way too addicted to my cell phone. I need to get back to picking up the phone to call a person and not text them. There’s a great need to get back to meaningful communication outside of social media.
15. I’m going to be okay…Stop fearing things that may never even happen.
16. If I feel the need to justify why it’s okay for me to watch a certain show movie or whatever, I need to let it go.
17. Follow the conviction of the Holy Spirit…every….single….time. No questions needed.
18. I can’t and don’t have to compare myself to other women of God. God created me with my own lane and the standard is Him not them.
19. It’s okay to be vulnerable and sensitive. Still working on the it’s okay to cry thing lol
20. It’s easy to pretend on social media. It’s difficult to pretend in real life.Don't pretend to be okay if I'm not.
21. Do not get worked up and stressed out over other people’s problems. God doesn’t want me to carry my own burdens so why do I think He wants me to carry someone else’s?
22. It is so easy to lose focus. I have to keep my eyes fixed on Christ and I need to be more intentional about being disciplined.
23. Prayer is powerful. It’s one thing to hear others say that and another to pray and see the manifestation of God working things out.
24. I still have work to do on my attitude and taming the tongue. God willing in 2014!
25. Last but definitely not least…All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. Enough said.

Cheers to the great things that God has in store for 2014. I don’t make New Year’s resolutions but what God has shown me in the last few days is there’s a vision that He has for 2014. We don’t want to miss it. Happy New Year! #2014

                      

·         Don’t forget to check out www.changedheartsunited.com

·         You can find all of the monthly teachings, vlogs, Changed Hearts: Real Talk, and Q&A’s on my YouTube channel:  www.youtube.com/user/AngelWalston

·         Last 60 days of prayer conference call will be tomorrow 12/30/13 @ 9pm EST.

                Dial in: 1-443-453-0034

                Code: 710142

·         Changed Hearts: Kingdom Focused bible study will start 1/11/14! More details to come.

The Cover Up

So really long story short, I’ve been having a little issue with my face for the last couple months and I found out yesterday what the problem was so I got a treatment to take care of it. As the case with most things that have to heal, it ends up getting worse before it actually gets better. So I woke up this morning and it wasn’t looking that great…who am I kidding it wasn’t looking great at all so I threw on makeup to cover it up as I had been doing for the last couple of months. As I get to church and I go into the bathroom to check out that my “cover up” is still intact, the Holy Spirit showed me that it won’t heal if you keep covering it up. I immediately thought but it’s ugly I have to cover it up! I don’t want people to see it. Once again, it won’t heal if you keep covering it up. So I'm going back and forth thinking I'm not taking this makeup off for this mess to be exposed. Then it hit me…it’s funny how sometimes we have to go through things to understand something that’s completely unrelated but completely related at the same time if that makes sense. God was not talking about my face; He was using this as an example to deal with the heart…talking about sin and things that He wants to heal and deliver us from but we keep trying to cover it up instead of allowing it to be exposed.

We have a tendency to want to cover up the things that are ugly. All the things that we don’t want exposed to people we try to keep it hidden by covering it up and not really dealing with it or portraying to people that everything is okay when the reality is behind the mask we’ve caked on, it’s a mess; it’s ugly and we’d rather keep it hidden. But it won’t heal if you keep covering it up. God wants to expose the mess, the ugliness, the unpretty but we spend so much time trying to cover it up. Covering it up slows down the healing process because God is trying to pluck up the root of that mess but we keep trying to cover it up because of how it effects the outward appearance yet we fail to realize how it is really detrimental to us on the inside. We fail to understand that just as we keep covering it up we are holding ourselves in bondage. God wants to free us of the ugly and the mess but we have to stop covering it up in order for Him to do so. He wants to expose what we try to keep hidden and it’s not to embarrass us but so that we can be freed from the bondage of condemnation of our sin that we think is ugly and that we feel we have to cover because we don’t want people to see it. In John 8:31-32, Jesus reminds the disciples that “if ye continue in My word, then are ye My disciples indeed; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (KJV). Part of that truth is that there is now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit (Romans 8:1, KJV) so why allow yourself to remain in bondage by holding on to things in your heart that you know are separating you from God and trying to condemn you?

The longer you keep wounds covered the more likely they are to become infected and what usually happens with infections is that they tend to spread. It contaminates more of the area and now it takes longer for the antibiotic to work because it has to fight harder against the infection. In some cases the infection is too strong for the antibiotic because we either don’t use it as often as we’re supposed to or we wait too long to treat it and so now the virus is immune to the treatment.  This is also what happens with sin that goes unaddressed. The only difference is that sin will never be too strong for God to attack and take control of but we have to allow Him to do so. It is a tactic of the enemy to make us fear having the mess exposed but it’s in that exposure that we become free and are no longer bound by what we are trying to keep hidden. Oftentimes when people come to visit where we live we may show them the living room area, the kitchen, the bathroom, but there’s usually a room or two that we’ll keep the door closed; maybe because we didn’t get a chance to clean up or there’s something that we don’t want them to see. We do the same with God, closing off certain parts of our hearts to Him because it’s not clean or not as “ready” to be presented to Him as we would like. We keep hiding things thinking that we’re benefiting everybody else by keeping them from seeing what’s really going on but you’re only hurting yourself. God can meet us where we are but we have to acknowledge where we are, not where we pretend to be. David asked God in Psalm 51:10 create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me (KJV). He realized that he could not create a clean heart for himself but he needed God to purify his heart and make him whole again. Just because we don’t tell God our struggle that does not mean that He does not realize it. He wants to help but we have to acknowledge that we need help and stop trying to hide it so that He can show us how to be freed. Here’s the reality: no matter how much you try to cover up what’s going on with you it will be exposed eventually. You can only keep things hidden but for so long. The great pretending game will get you nowhere; deal with what’s dealing with you and give it to God. Be free.

Couple of things!

·         Don’t forget to check out www.changedheartsunited.com

·         You can find all of the monthly teachings, vlogs, Changed Hearts: Real Talk, and Q&A’s on my YouTube channel:  www.youtube.com/user/AngelWalston

·         Last 60 days of prayer conference call will be tomorrow 12/30/13 @ 9pm EST.

                Dial in: 1-443-453-0034

                Code: 710142

·         Changed Hearts: Kingdom Focused bible study will start 1/11/14! More details to come.

Dear Woman: Trusting God in Grad School

Gopi Pitcher

I didn’t get into grad school the first time I applied. I remember getting all of the waiting list notifications, and feeling so disheartened. I was angry and frustrated, and didn’t understand why I didn’t get in, when years before God gave me the desire to go so I could get to my dream job.  I decided to apply again, and round two was completely different. Applications were given out in July, and depending on the school, had due dates ranging from Oct to December. All 27 schools had my application by the end of August.  Only God.

That summer I found out that my mom and I confirmed our trip back to my birth country (I’m adopted). I got to see where I came from, make forever friends, gain a new perspective, got to see my orphanage, and healed in areas I didn’t realize needed healing. If I had gotten accepted round 1 of applications, I wouldn’t have gotten that experience.  Only God.

I came back from my trip Jan 10, and Jan 11 I had a voicemail from my number one choice of grad school, and that I had been accepted. Only God.

The first year of school was rough. I, like most other students, had to re-learn to study, have an incredibly flexible schedule and needed to prioritize my day. Sometimes that meant taking a shower vs. eating dinner. It meant sacrificing my 1 hour of daily gym time, to 2x a week for 30 mins (on a good week) to make time for studying. My lovely 7 hour sleep nights, turned into 5 hours (or less) of sleep. My brain physically hurt for the first month of school. We received our first test grades back, and I didn’t do well at all. I had studied so much, and felt like I knew the information, and still didn’t get good test grades. I remember calling my mom in tears. Finals weeks were the worse, not only for the obvious reasons, but those weeks I felt the most distant from God. I felt defeated, and questioned why I volunteered to go on this emotional, physical, and mental roller coaster.

My teachers and older students reminded me it wasn’t about the grades. No one is going to ask me what my GPA was on job interviews. I started giving more time to God, thinking that spending more time with him, would be the answer to my tearful prayers. I figured if I spent more time with God, and still studied hard, my grades would be better. That actually didn’t happen. My grades didn’t change, and I realized that I was just a bad test taker. I know all the information, but when it comes to the exams, something wasn’t clicking. What did change was my attitude. Though I still get frustrated when my grades don’t reflect the work I put in, I’ve gotten better at trusting God, it was going to be okay. God constantly reminds me that my identity is in Jesus, not in my test grades. The Lord says that he looks at the inward most desires and makeup of a person’s heart, not their outward appearance (1 Sam 16:7).

Every day is a fight. I fight for sleep, peace, grades, continued healthy living. But I was reminded recently that Obedience is greater than Sacrifice. Obedience can require sacrifice and God rewards those who are obedient. When we hear God’s calling on our life, it requires an immense amount of trust and obedience to fulfill.

The Christmas season is here, and last Sunday at church we talked about Jesus’s birth with a twist. We think of how brave Mary was to be obedient to God, but we don’t look at good ole Joe. Without Joseph’s obedience the story would have been completely different. Mary had a baby bump, and clearly sex before marriage was seriously frowned upon. Everyone thought Mary committed adultery, and as punishment could have been stoned. Joseph put his trust in God, and continued to love Mary, and raise Jesus as his own. He also saved Jesus from being killed from King Herod. Without Joseph’s obedience Mary would have died, Jesus would have died before saving the world. (Matt 2).

What does this have to do with trusting God through Grad School? I told you that I don’t seem to do well on written exams, but am now ½ way through my program. Only God. I trust the Lord with all my being through this 3 year battle. Satan is trying to break me, discourage me, destroy my passion, and steal my trust in God. There are times when the enemy plants thoughts in my head of “not being good enough” of “not passing.” It’s not going to work. God placed me here to do HIS work, and I’m still here. “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12)

God is going to get me through, He has already won. Jesus has already won. I admit, I get busy with the hustle and bustle of school, but my Lord and Savior reminds me He’s got this. He reminds me in the conversations with my professors, in my friendships, and support of friends and family. He reminds me of who HE is when I study for 10 plus hours on one exam, get a bad grade but still pass the semester. Jesus is in control, and when I am reminded of this, I wake up in the morning and say “God I give you this day. I give you this study time, I give you ultimate control.”

Last thing: I’ve recently been watching Netflix (yay free time) and a friend recommended a show to me. In the show, the high school football team that has a motto I really love: Clear eyes. Full Hearts. Can’t Lose.   My eyes are clear and focused on Jesus in all things. My heart is full of love for God, and others.  With God in control, I can’t lose.

-Gopi

**Don't forget to check out www.changedheartsunited.com!**

Dear Woman: Not A Virgin

Dear Woman,
   
    Today I want to talk to you about a moment I just had…I was reading someone’s testimony about being a virgin on her wedding night and I had a moment where I (insert emoji with the sad face) thought, “I wish I would have waited so that I could have been a virgin on my wedding night.” As Christian women we don’t ever really talk about this though and I’m not really sure why but if I can be honest I’ve kind of had this complex once I got saved about not being able to give my husband that  gift one day. I often think about how I wished abstinence was more enforced when I was younger or how I wished I wasn’t just talked to about safe sex but not having sex altogether. We often hear women proudly talk about how they saved themselves for marriage, as they should be proud, but what about the other side? What about the women who feel or have felt less than or not as worthy because they fell into the trap of sexual immorality? What about the born again women who did give into fornication in the past but are now living for God and are practicing abstinence?  It’s a touchy topic but let’s talk about it.

    There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit (Romans 8:1, KJV).  The first question I have to ask is do you believe the word of God to be true? The next questions are do you belong to Jesus and are you pursuing Him and not your flesh?  If yes, then stop condemning yourself! It is the tactic of the enemy to try to condemn us by our past. Let him have a field day with that because we don’t live there anymore. Chuck up the deuces and continue to walk forward in who you are in Christ Jesus. Second Corinthians 5:17 tells us, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (KJV). Old things are passed away so stop holding on to the old things girlfran. This includes even when the people who “use” to know you try to throw old things up in your face because they think that you think you’re all holier than thou now because you’re saved. It's not that you think you're better than anyone, you  just really want to share Christ with people and talk about how He’s changed your life but oh girl on facebook that you didn’t get along with in high school, college, or whatever, sends you a message saying that no matter how many Jesus things you post, she still remembers when you were a hoe, or someone reminds you of that abortion that you had, or even worst say you’re “not clean” or not pure because you were raped…words hurt, trust me I know, but you can’t afford to allow people to condemn you and you can’t condemn yourself. Pray for those people as we know hurt people, hurt people and it really has nothing to do with you for real. If we are condemned that would mean Jesus died for nothing…join me as I sing “Lies you tell, from the pits of hell.”

    No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it (1 Cor. 10:13, KJV).  I definitely do not want to downplay or act as though women who are virgins do not struggle with being pure; that is definitely not my intention.  However, there is a difference in being curious about something you’ve never had, versus already opening up the can of worms, knowing how the equipment works, the feeling, etc. Ya’ll get where I’m going with that! After you have had sex let’s be honest the struggle to not be tempted to do it again is real beyond belief. Sexual sin is one of the biggest sins that the church deals with yet it’s never really discussed. We have to be real and honest with where we are in our walk with Christ and allow Him to take the lead in our life so that we will not give into temptation. For me personally, I had to cut out a lot of TV shows and secular music because there are a ton of songs with sexual innuendos and sultry sounds that can take your mind off of all things Jesus quick and in a hurry. Now you’re ready to hit up no good Nathan because you want some companionship. Nope, shut those thoughts and temptations down from the get go. God will provide us with a way out but we can’t wait until we’re in the bed and then start asking God to give us a way out! No ma’am, trust and believe He will give you the check in your spirit way before that point but you have to pay attention and take heed to the leading of the Holy Spirit! Guard your heart ladies.

    So you’re not a virgin, but you’re pursuing Christ and you have locked up the key to the cookie jar until your Adam is awakened. Stop keeping record of your wrong when Jesus’ blood erased it when you chose to give Him your life.  You are not tarnished goods because of your past but you are a child of the one true King.  God is proud of you for allowing Him to make the change in you to honor Him with your purity now. You are worthy, you are purified by the blood of Jesus, you are loved, and you are woman.

Love you ladies xoxo

P.S. Don't forget to check out the new Changed Hearts: I AM Woman site that can be accessed through www.changedheartsunited.com!
-Angel

Dear Woman: You Have Not Lost Your Worth

Dear Woman,

    Working in retail, you see it all the time, customers refusing to pay full price for products they feel aren’t perfect. It’s as if a slight imperfection cancels out its usefulness and value. If something has so much as the tiniest scratch, I’ve witnessed customers ask for a discount of some kind. I’ve ordered new items for customers because there was a page in a book that wasn’t perfectly aligned with the others. These slight imperfections caused products to lose  their value in the eyes of paying customers. The same is true of cars. As soon as you drive a car off a lot it begins to lose its value. A car’s value is based on the name on the car, the number of miles that’s on it, how many accidents it’s been in, how old it is, etc. The more miles, accidents, and years it’s been around the less people are willing to pay for it. Just like products in stores and cars on a car lot, we too have so many things trying to devalue us and take away our worth.

    The way the world and people treat products and cars is sometimes the same way they treat people and sometimes it’s the way we treat ourselves. Living life we all fall short and make mistakes. The world and people are sometimes so quick to hold those things against us and note that as one of the ways in which we aren’t perfect and have lost our value. The world and people define your worth by where you grew up, who your parents are, what college you attended, how much education you have, your ethnicity, your weight, your past etc. with some upping your value and others lowering your value. We sometimes even allow our past to dictate our value and worth. We’ve all got a past, we’ve done things we aren’t proud of and because of this many of us have felt unworthy and devalued. We’ve felt devalued because some of us have lived promiscuously, others have lived a homosexual lifestyle, others have lied, cheated, some have sold their bodies; others have been abused and molested, etc. And we’ve all felt this way at some point…like those things made us less, like they took away some of our worth. And we became ok with others treating us less than what we deserve. And we settled for randoms that only valued us for our looks and our bodies because we’ve let our past define our worth and say I’m not valuable enough for a really good man of God, who will treasure me, protect my virtue, encourage/push me to grow spiritually, and who will love me like Christ loved the church.

    I’m here to tell you today that you have so much worth and value! You are worth so much more than your past. You are more than your body. You are more than where you grew up. You are more than your education. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR MISTAKES. Mistakes and your past may cause you to lose your value in the eyes of the world and people, but in the eyes of the one that matters you are worth it, you are highly valued! I want you to see yourself the way God does, Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He created us a new in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” You are God’s masterpiece! A masterpiece = a person’s greatest work, anything done with masterly skill, a consummate example of skill or excellence of any kind. YOU ARE GOD’S GREATEST WORK. YOU ARE AN ILLUSTRATION OF THE AWESOMENESS OF GOD. YOU ARE HIS CREATION. YOU ARE MADE IN HIS VERY IMAGE! God doesn’t look at you and begin to check off all the many ways that you don’t measure up. He doesn’t sit down and go through your wrap sheet, docking your value for every wrong turn and mistake you’ve made. He didn’t say to himself, my Son’s death wasn’t for her; she’s not valuable enough for my Son to die. To God you were worth His Son, Jesus dying, you were worth saving, and you were worth buying back from death, hell, and the grave. In God’s eyes you are highly valued and you have so much worth! You are a daughter of the Most High God! Refuse to let your past, your mistakes, the world, and people take away your value and worth. If they don’t recognize your value, pray for them and move on. You don’t need to around people that don’t see your worth because they will cause you to lose sight of it yourself.

    Sis, whatever you’ve done, whatever your past, whatever your mistakes you have not lost your value and you have not lost your worth. Know that you are highly valued. That God paid a high price for you in sending His Son, Jesus to die for you because He deemed you worth it! In God’s eyes you never lost and never will lose your value and worth.

Love,

Mariah

You were worth the Son being sent and given…

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” ~John 3:16

P.S. Don't forget to check out the new Changed Hearts: I AM Woman site that can be accessed through www.changedheartsunited.com and Mariah Milan's blog at www.mariahmilan.blogspot.com!

Dear Woman: All My Single Ladies

Dear woman,

            As a single trust me I can understand the desire to want to be married. Especially as you see beautiful couples who are so in love with their spouse and they did it God’s way and you look on with your heart screaming I want that!!!! Trust me, I get it, but as singles who really want to grow in Christ we can’t afford to settle when it comes to our spouse. The person that you marry you become one with them (Mark 10:8). Their issues now become your issues and you need to know what their issues are! People get worried about taking on another person’s financial debt when they become married but they don’t think about the spiritual debt that they may have to take on as well. Ladies, it’s so important to wait on God’s timing for this. I know that’s so much easier said than done! I’m right there with you sisters, trust me I get that the struggle is real sometimes but God has not forgotten about us singles. He’s not going to withhold any good thing from those that follow Him (Psalm 84:11) but we have to trust that He has our best interest in mind in protecting our hearts.
          I’d like to share my truth for a moment…about two years ago I came back into contact with an old boyfriend. Although I knew he wasn’t God’s best for my life, I liked the attention. It felt good to have someone, well not just someone but a man, to talk to on a daily basis. So he asked what I was looking for in a relationship now as we had not dated for about 3-4 years at this point. I gave him the longest list; he needs to believe in God, needs to be stable, I’m abstinent now so he needs to wait until marriage to have sex, and so on and so on. So I say all this and his response is, “well I don’t have the best relationship with God right now but I’m working on it. The whole sex thing, I mean it would be difficult but I could do it if I had to.” Red flags are screaming but I’m thinking well at least he’s willing to try right? Somebody should’ve come and slapped some sense into me! So I then go on to say I’m not interested in dating, I’m going into my next relationship with the purpose of marriage in mind. His response, “I could settle down.” I’m like hmh…maybe this could work? Thank God for deliverance from stupid lol. So we continue to talk everyday for a few weeks and one day he texts me and says so someone told me that you preach now???? I didn’t tell him this when we “reconnected.” To be honest I didn’t tell him because I didn’t think he would want to be with me if he knew that. Uhm hello Mark 8:38! I’m sharing the gospel with people but I didn’t want to share this with the man who I was considering being with. I know that’s crazy. So we start talking about my beliefs and things and God. So the next few days we continued to have conversations about God and it completely threw me for a loop because I so was not expecting him to be receptive to it none whatsoever. So now my heart is really excited and thinking yay! Maybe this could actually work; he’ll get saved, love Jesus and we can be together right? So we continue to have conversations about God and he was telling me how he was struggling in trusting God because of different things that were happening in his life. So I’m over here quoting scripture, directing him to read Job, talking about the Apostle Paul and Abraham and I’m over here basking in this moment thinking this is going to be great this time around and I’m saying yessssss!!! God shuts it all the way down with the loudest NO! That was the last conversation that we had and this is what God showed me:

1. Wives, submit unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22, KJV). Let’s take the man out of the picture for a moment; how can you say you will submit to a man when you are not submitted to Christ first? As singles, if we want to prepare for marriage we first start by learning to submit to Christ. At that time I wasn’t submitted to Christ because I was completely ignoring all the red flags because the thought of marriage was completely clouding my spiritual judgment. We have to want Jesus and the direction of the Holy Spirit more than we want the husband.
2. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the saviour of the body (Ephesians 5:23, KJV). When we had our last conversation I was so excited that I was able to encourage this guy by talking about Jesus. That excitement left when God quickly showed me that he could not pour back into me. I don’t care how Godly your marriage is you are going to go through different tests and trials and you need a spouse who can cover you and pour back into you just as you pour out to them. The husband is responsible for leading his family towards Christ. The man you marry is going to have a direct impact on your relationship with God as well as your children’s relationship with God. You have to be able to trust the leadership of your husband. Is he even trying to honor your purity before you get married? What does his prayer life look like? The way a man treats you and acts before you get married is not going to change simply because he put a ring on it. Pay attention to those red flags before you say I do or you’ll end up saying Lord I wish I didn’t!
3. Flee fornication. All other sins a person commits are outside of the body; but he that commiteth fornication sinneth against his own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18, KJV). The choice to be celibate has to be your own and the same goes for your one day spouse. Both of you have to come to the conclusion on your own that you are going to honor God with your body. It can’t just be because the bible says not to have sex before marriage so okay I’ll follow the rules. It’s not quite that simple. You have to have a desire to want to honor God with your body not just simply because it says to do so but because of who God is to you. I was setting myself up for failure with this relationship. Not only was this a person that I had fornicated with before when I wasn’t saved, but he was only okay with abstaining from sex because that was what I wanted. You are more likely to be tempted to give into fornication if your future spouse has not made up in his mind that he is going to set the boundaries in the relationship to honor your purity. (See point about the husband leading the wife). We end up putting ourselves in a compromising situation because we say oh I’m not going to have sex with him but just as soon as you’re tempted, you give in because he’s definitely not going to heed to the conviction of the Holy Spirit. I would strongly advise against yoking yourself up with someone that you have fornicated with in the past once you are saved especially if they are not saved. You open the door for temptation to overtake you and in the moment where your flesh may get weak that unsaved man who is only going along with your request to be abstinent is not going to tell his flesh to shut up when things get hot and heavy. Let’s be honest ladies. When you fornicate you open yourself up to soul ties. You wonder why you’re feeling all crazy and what not because you’ve picked up something from the person that you’ve laid with.

* I do believe that God can separate two people, they work on their relationship with Christ and get saved individually and then He brings them back together and they are able to honor God without giving back into the temptation of fornication. That can happen, but God will show you if that is the case.*

    4.     You shall have no other gods before me. (Exodus 20:3, KJV). Singles it is so easy to make marriage an idol. We have   to keep our eyes focused on God and not our left hand ring finger. The more you focus on being single the more the enemy will have a field day in your head. He will send you all kinds of fine looking demons oops I meant men to get you distracted. So now your focus is no longer on seeking the kingdom of God but seeking after a man. You talk about wanting this husband more than you want to talk with God. Anything we put before God is an idol and everything that we create an idol out of the devil will indeed use it to distract and destruct our relationship with God.
    5.     Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23, KJV). When this guy and I stopped talking I felt lonely. I’m being honest. My phone wasn’t blowing up anymore and I was in my feelings for a bit. That was my fault because God never told me to pursue that man. He tries to protect us from getting our little feelings hurt but we jump the gun. Also we have to guard our heart not just towards men that we know aren’t God’s best for our lives but also the people who keep questioning when are we going to settle down and get married? Our timeline is based on God’s timing not the rushed timing of people. The funny thing about people is that they will pressure and rush you into getting married or having babies but when it falls apart or when you need help those same people are MIA. Don’t allow people to guilt you into feeling like you have to get married by a certain time so you can have a gut full of human before your biological clock breaks and your eggs become scrambled. I remember a woman asking me “so Angel how does it feel to be your age and not married or without children?” First let me say I’m only 25, but my response was it feels like I trust God to prepare me for that part of my life when He’s ready. Ladies don’t allow peoples words, facebook posts of their wedding pictures, or anything else cause you to be jealous, covet, or even doubt God’s timing for your life. Guard your heart.

Ladies we can’t afford to settle for any Joe Schmo off the corner. We wait for God to give us our mate in His timing and while we’re waiting we’re not just sitting idol thinking every man that walks through the church doors is our husband (oh and just because a man is a Christian doesn’t mean ya’ll have to be together but that’s a different post). I know we’ve all had that moment where we go is it him? Maybe that one? Could he be my husband? Dear woman, rest. You deserve to be loved, honored, and respected. Know that God has not forgotten about you; He knows the desire you have to call someone husband. Let him choose your mate and not your biological clock or emotions.

Love you ladies,

-Angel


P.S. Don't forget to check out the new Changed Hearts: I AM Woman site that can be accessed through www.changedheartsunited.com!

Dear Woman: Twerk Sumtin:The Role We Play In The Degradation of Women

Dear Woman,

I will start with this disclaimer: this is not going to be a popular post. That’s okay; I’m here to share Jesus not win the popularity contest for the year. Secondly, I created this section just for women so I can be blunt and to the point and really talk to the ladies. Before I start I will put my own business out there. Before I was saved and after I so called got saved and was going to church, I got it in at the club. I’m a very tiny little lady and therefore my motto was the shorter the tighter the dress the better so I could show off what little “assets” I have.  I thought it was “cute” to get attention from men because I was dressed like a hooker pretty much. I was team cut outs, sheer, short, tight, boobs up and out, and all that. Then I would get mad because I’m up in the club and these random guys are trying to feel up on me or grabbing my butt. I would get an attitude about the “cat calls” as I’m walking down the street with my friends freezing cold at 1, 2, 3:00 in the morning dressed scantily clad leaving from the club. I would get upset that men would make vulgar comments to me and felt it was okay to say they wanted to have sex with me.

Let’s be clear, I am not saying that it is ever okay for a man to rape or disrespect a woman because of the way that she is dressed or acting. I’m definitely not saying that at all and I don’t want what I’m going to say to seem as though I think that’s okay because it’s not. However, even with that being said, we as women have to think about the way that we carry ourselves and the image that we are portraying. I remember watching something on TV years ago and someone was complaining about how men are degrading women in music videos as they are in little to no clothing and they’re twerking with all their goods exposed. They talk about how men are degrading these women but the unfortunate reality is that these women are okay with their behavior. They don’t feel like they’re being degraded and they’re perfectly fine showing off what they consider their best assets.  So now other women, especially younger women, look on and see the reaction from men and they think that they have to dress this way or dance this way to be attractive to men. Let’s be honest with ourselves ladies, what type of men are you trying to attract? Is it a man of God? I mean a true man of God, not a man who goes to church on Sundays and that’s the extent of his relationship with God. Now what type of image do you think you are portraying when you’re bent over in front of a man twerking? Women will say they want a true man of God but the way they dress, talk, dance, and act gives off the impression that they’re more interested in a “good time” than having a relationship with God. Then as women we wonder why we keep running into these men who just want to smash instead of pray or go to church with us. If I can be honest ladies, a true man of God is praying against that type of woman. A true man of God who is sincerely trying to pursue a relationship with Christ is not going to yoke himself up with a woman who tempts him with the way she dresses or her behavior. Real talk, that man is rebuking women like that, serious face. Furthermore, I can guarantee you 150% that you will indeed NOT meet a true man of God in the club so don’t get excited because old boy posted up on the wall says he’s a Christian. Christians have no business in anybody’s club point, blank, and the period.

We don’t want men to just want to have sex with us but so many women put all their goods on display or better yet they’re dry humping men on the dance floor. But as women we want men to respect us; we want them to honor our purity…Ladies the respect game has to start with you. You have to care enough about your body first to respect yourself before expecting anyone else to do so. Women of God, we don’t want that kind of attention. We want to attract people with our hearts for Jesus and our inner beauty and meek and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4). You have to set the standard for how people treat you. If you don’t set the standard someone else will come along and define it for you. No ma’am! The Holy Bible is the standard that we set for ourselves not a man made standard.

In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 we’re asked a question, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?” What are you doing with the temple that God has given you? The body that the Holy Spirit dwells inside, or should dwell inside, that you have received from God, how are you using it to honor God? Would you twerk in front of God? I know you’re thinking Angel that’s crazy! Are you for real right now? The thing is God is always watching us. We act as though we think that He isn’t because we can’t see Him but that does not mean that He is not watching us. So of course people would say no! I wouldn’t twerk in front of God if I could visibly see Him. He’s always watching. He’s looking down at His women and it breaks His heart to think that they don’t respect the temple that He has given them and that they don’t value themselves enough to honor their bodies. It goes on to say going into verse 20, “You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies” (KJV). Ladies, no man has paid that price for you; no one but Jesus. Honoring God with your body is more than just abstaining from sex until you’re married. So people say, “I’m not having sex with these men, I’m just dancing geez!” or “I just want to look cute in my little outfit!”  First Thessalonians 5:22 tells us to “abstain from all appearance of evil” (KJV). How can we effectively share Christ if we don’t reflect Christ but we look exactly like the world? Just because you aren’t doing it it’s like it doesn’t even matter because from the outside looking in you look like the world. if people can’t tell that you are following Christ based off of your lifestyle something’s not right. As women of God we’re called to dress modestly (1 Timothy 2:9) not flaunt all of our curves because God gave us a little body ody. Dear woman, you are worth being respected. Your value and your worth is found in Christ and not how big your butt looks in your dress, how well you can dance, or anything else. It’s in Christ. Let’s honor Him with our bodies in all that we do and be intentional about giving Him our entire hearts.

Love you ladies,

-Angel

P.S. Don't forget to check out the new Changed Hearts: I AM Woman site that can be accessed through www.changedheartsunited.com!