Dear Woman: Twerk Sumtin:The Role We Play In The Degradation of Women

Dear Woman,

I will start with this disclaimer: this is not going to be a popular post. That’s okay; I’m here to share Jesus not win the popularity contest for the year. Secondly, I created this section just for women so I can be blunt and to the point and really talk to the ladies. Before I start I will put my own business out there. Before I was saved and after I so called got saved and was going to church, I got it in at the club. I’m a very tiny little lady and therefore my motto was the shorter the tighter the dress the better so I could show off what little “assets” I have.  I thought it was “cute” to get attention from men because I was dressed like a hooker pretty much. I was team cut outs, sheer, short, tight, boobs up and out, and all that. Then I would get mad because I’m up in the club and these random guys are trying to feel up on me or grabbing my butt. I would get an attitude about the “cat calls” as I’m walking down the street with my friends freezing cold at 1, 2, 3:00 in the morning dressed scantily clad leaving from the club. I would get upset that men would make vulgar comments to me and felt it was okay to say they wanted to have sex with me.

Let’s be clear, I am not saying that it is ever okay for a man to rape or disrespect a woman because of the way that she is dressed or acting. I’m definitely not saying that at all and I don’t want what I’m going to say to seem as though I think that’s okay because it’s not. However, even with that being said, we as women have to think about the way that we carry ourselves and the image that we are portraying. I remember watching something on TV years ago and someone was complaining about how men are degrading women in music videos as they are in little to no clothing and they’re twerking with all their goods exposed. They talk about how men are degrading these women but the unfortunate reality is that these women are okay with their behavior. They don’t feel like they’re being degraded and they’re perfectly fine showing off what they consider their best assets.  So now other women, especially younger women, look on and see the reaction from men and they think that they have to dress this way or dance this way to be attractive to men. Let’s be honest with ourselves ladies, what type of men are you trying to attract? Is it a man of God? I mean a true man of God, not a man who goes to church on Sundays and that’s the extent of his relationship with God. Now what type of image do you think you are portraying when you’re bent over in front of a man twerking? Women will say they want a true man of God but the way they dress, talk, dance, and act gives off the impression that they’re more interested in a “good time” than having a relationship with God. Then as women we wonder why we keep running into these men who just want to smash instead of pray or go to church with us. If I can be honest ladies, a true man of God is praying against that type of woman. A true man of God who is sincerely trying to pursue a relationship with Christ is not going to yoke himself up with a woman who tempts him with the way she dresses or her behavior. Real talk, that man is rebuking women like that, serious face. Furthermore, I can guarantee you 150% that you will indeed NOT meet a true man of God in the club so don’t get excited because old boy posted up on the wall says he’s a Christian. Christians have no business in anybody’s club point, blank, and the period.

We don’t want men to just want to have sex with us but so many women put all their goods on display or better yet they’re dry humping men on the dance floor. But as women we want men to respect us; we want them to honor our purity…Ladies the respect game has to start with you. You have to care enough about your body first to respect yourself before expecting anyone else to do so. Women of God, we don’t want that kind of attention. We want to attract people with our hearts for Jesus and our inner beauty and meek and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4). You have to set the standard for how people treat you. If you don’t set the standard someone else will come along and define it for you. No ma’am! The Holy Bible is the standard that we set for ourselves not a man made standard.

In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 we’re asked a question, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?” What are you doing with the temple that God has given you? The body that the Holy Spirit dwells inside, or should dwell inside, that you have received from God, how are you using it to honor God? Would you twerk in front of God? I know you’re thinking Angel that’s crazy! Are you for real right now? The thing is God is always watching us. We act as though we think that He isn’t because we can’t see Him but that does not mean that He is not watching us. So of course people would say no! I wouldn’t twerk in front of God if I could visibly see Him. He’s always watching. He’s looking down at His women and it breaks His heart to think that they don’t respect the temple that He has given them and that they don’t value themselves enough to honor their bodies. It goes on to say going into verse 20, “You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies” (KJV). Ladies, no man has paid that price for you; no one but Jesus. Honoring God with your body is more than just abstaining from sex until you’re married. So people say, “I’m not having sex with these men, I’m just dancing geez!” or “I just want to look cute in my little outfit!”  First Thessalonians 5:22 tells us to “abstain from all appearance of evil” (KJV). How can we effectively share Christ if we don’t reflect Christ but we look exactly like the world? Just because you aren’t doing it it’s like it doesn’t even matter because from the outside looking in you look like the world. if people can’t tell that you are following Christ based off of your lifestyle something’s not right. As women of God we’re called to dress modestly (1 Timothy 2:9) not flaunt all of our curves because God gave us a little body ody. Dear woman, you are worth being respected. Your value and your worth is found in Christ and not how big your butt looks in your dress, how well you can dance, or anything else. It’s in Christ. Let’s honor Him with our bodies in all that we do and be intentional about giving Him our entire hearts.

Love you ladies,

-Angel

P.S. Don't forget to check out the new Changed Hearts: I AM Woman site that can be accessed through www.changedheartsunited.com!

Introducing "Dear Woman" Posts!

So what’s this whole Dear Woman business all about? Well I’m so glad you asked! Dear Woman is an advice column for Changed Hearts: I AM Woman that can be found at www.changedheartsunited.com. The Changed Hearts: I AM Woman portion is currently a member’s only site and will remain that way because I want to be able to have a private section just for women to be able to share things in a safe place and also be able to send out inspirational emails to those who are members. I also however wanted to share the messages that are being posted there on this blog for people who may be unaware of the site but come across my blog that is open to the public as I would like to bless and encourage as many people as possible. With that being said, the Dear Woman column WILL still be on Changed Hearts: I AM Woman and it will continue to be a members only page so that way women can utilize the comments area where we can discuss things just as women privately! Lastly, I am not the only one that contributes to the Dear Woman section so I will note the different writers and list all Dear Woman posts as just that!

God bless!

Angel xoxo

But They're A Christian...

So they’re a Christian, a really nice person, they dress nice, smell good, they show interest in you but one problem…you’re just not interested. So what do you do? Let me tell you what you don’t do and that is settle! We have a tendency as Christians to believe that there is a shortage of good Christian men/women and if we find just one that shows us interest then we should probably go with it because it’s “hard” to find people really on fire for God like you, right? WRONG! God knows exactly who He has pre-ordained you to be with and you don’t have to go finding them okay. Psalm 37:4 tells us to delight ourselves in the Lord and He will give us the desires of our heart, therefore our focus should be on God and not our desires. But furthermore, we must trust God to get it right! He knows what’s best and He definitely does not need our help in picking the one that we want. We’ll mess around and try and “help” God to find our future boo and end up with booboo the fool. I digress, back to the topic at hand.

 God ordained relationships/friendships they just work if that makes sense. You don’t have to make yourself like the person simply because they are a Christian and you will have peace about it. There was a point where any man that was a Christian I wondered hmh could that be my husband? I really wasn’t interested in any of them but I figured they’re a Christian so if he pursues me that must make him “the one” right? Feel free to high five me…in my face…with a chair. I believe the reason people settle for the they’re a “good Christian,” comes from the fear of possibly not finding “the one” so now when any “one” gives you play, you think hey might as well go for it. I know this may sound crazy, but stop settling for what appears to be a “good man or woman” when you know they are not who God called you to be with. Just because they are a great person that does not mean they are God’s best for YOU. So yes, it is settling when you choose that "good Christian" when God gave you the no go on that person. No matter how good they are, simply put they still are not the one for you and guess what? That's okay.

So now you've decided you're not going to settle but how do you decline a good Christian man/woman that you are not interested in? Be respectful. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone that you’re interested in them and it can also be really embarrassing when declined. You can say you know I appreciate the interest or the compliment but I’m really focused on my relationship with God right now and I don’t want anything to distract me from that. I have told people that I am on a self love journey and nothing personal, but I’m taking the time to learn who I am in Christ and as an individual before adding anyone else into the mix. Be honest and up front with people and make it clear from the get go that you are not interested in pursuing anything beyond a brother/sister in Christ type of relationship. You can say this without saying “uhm God did not tell me that you are my husband or my wife so deuces be easy!” Don’t be rude; it doesn’t reflect Christ likeness and it's unattractive…just saying.

Now some people are quite persistent and can’t take a hint or you being up front…Before I go into this I want to be clear; you have to make sure that you are not leading people on that you are not interested in! So many of us avoid conflict and uncomfortable conversations so instead of saying thanks but no thanks we say let me pray about it or let me think about it. No! Shut it down from the beginning and don’t dangle people along simply because you like the attention. We are not thirsty for the attention of people but we’re thirsty for God. Now on to the persistent man or woman that thinks you’re playing hard to get for some reason, you have to lay it on the table and make it plain. Still, you DO NOT have to be rude or disrespectful in doing this. 

I’ll be honest, there have been people that I have wanted to tell to go back into their prayer closet because God has made it very clear to me that they are not my Adam and I know He did not tell them that I was their Eve but they don’t quite seem to get that memo. Sometimes you have to plainly put it, I’m not sure what impression you’re getting but I’m not interested and I want to make that clear so that you’re not led on to believe that I am. I don't play games, it's real...just as real as a restraining order...okay maybe you can leave that part out. Also be mindful of a person’s motives because some people will try to “getcha” when you decline their advances by trying to spend time with you or talk to you more by asking for your phone number to get “spiritual guidance” or advice or inviting you to “church” things to spend time with you and not to grow in God. Pray for them because they are clearly not being led by the Holy Spirit but also shut it down. One of the best ways to shut this down is directing them to a person of the same sex for guidance/advice. Allow the Holy Spirit to show you their motives and whether or not they’re intentions are genuine or not and how to proceed with them. 
 

We have to remember that our spouse is created to be our help meet so not just any person can step into that role. Just because a person is a Christian that does not mean they have to be your Christian! Don’t let people give you the line of “well I’m saved and you’re saved and we both love Jesus.” And? That makes us brother and sister in Christ, the end. Last but not least, don’t allow other people to tell you that the Lord “told” them that you are going to be their son or daughter in law. If the Lord did not tell you that it’s pretty safe to say that’s not confirmed and that's a prophelie and not a prophecy. Sometimes you have to sing a little hymn to yourself entitled “The devil is a lie, all the lies you tell.” Guard your hearts folks and keep your eyes focused on God and He will make it clear to you when you need to look over to acknowledge your spouse. 

Learning to Deal With People

I can’t speak for everyone, but I believe it’s pretty safe to say that I’m speaking for the majority when I say that one of the most difficult things in life is learning to deal with people. We encounter a number of different types of people whether it may be at work, school, or even in ministry and often times the people that we meet have completely different ways of handling things than we do and in the nicest way to put it are just difficult. There is always a purpose behind the people that God allows in our lives and as much as we wish some of them would go away :) there’s more than likely a lesson that we can learn from the situations we face in dealing with people. I can honestly say in the last month, I feel like I have been being attacked in this area on a pretty regular basis so I figured instead of complaining about it and praying that I will stop being attacked, I needed to look at what God is trying to show me and how He’s trying to help me to grow in this season. This list is in no particular order and FYI some is biblical and some are my opinions based off of experience. 

  

  1.        You have to set boundaries for yourself!!! We have a tendency, especially with ministry stuff, to want to help everyone and we extend ourselves beyond what God has asked of us and now, in the words of my pastor, we’re burned out, busted, and disgusted. I’m going to hope that this is a given but it needs to be said anyways… are you ready? YOU ARE NOT GOD! Stop trying to be superman/woman and trying to be everything to everybody! FYI I’m preaching to myself right now, ya’ll just happen to be tuned in reading this…I struggle with wanting to help everybody and they’re momma and because of that it leaves me drained, irritable, and lacking where I don’t have to be because God never told me to do it. It is okay to say no and I want to be very clear in what I’m about to say so that it is not taken out of context…yes you should pray, yes it is a necessity in the believer’s life but you really don’t have to take the time to pray about everything. Now before you pull my Christian card, let me explain…what I mean by this is God will give you a clear NO about certain things. Yes sometimes you do need to go and take time for the Holy Spirit to guide you on it, but oftentimes God answers with a loud and clear NO and we say you know, well let me pray

about it. God gave you the answer you just didn’t like it so you ignored it, call it what it is. That’s a different topic but nonetheless, people will take as much as you are willing to give so you have to learn how to guard yourself so that you don’t become drained. You cannot effectively help anyone if you are weak and your foundation is shaky because you are constantly pouring out but not being replenished. In ministry we can have a tendency to want to be everyone’s support system, prayer warrior, accountability partner, and encourager and we just want to help everybody. Here’s the reality, you can’t. You will be burned out and completely drained. Also stop giving everybody and their momma your number. It’s okay for you have your personal stuff that only people who are the closest to you can reach you on. Don’t feel bad for saying that you don’t give out your personal number or email. THAT’S OKAY! Stop letting people guilt you into doing things that God never told you to do. Set boundaries, guard your heart.

2.       Don’t hold on to who hurt you: I know that’s so much easier said than done but when that root is planted it can be difficult to let go of. There was a situation that happened this past week that I felt as though someone who I wouldn’t say we were besties but I had a decent relationship with, I felt as though she completely threw me under the bus. So I’m venting to my best friend about it and she said well maybe this is an opportunity to be like Jesus and love in spite of what people do to you. I’ll be honest….my response was “I’m not trying to be Jesus!” and I jokingly laughed it off. Yes I was in my feelings, yes I was wrong, don’t condemn me to hell, pray for me folks. I know I shouldn't have jokingly said that but it serves a point so bare with me. Later on that day, I have my quiet time and I’m praying about the situation and God nicely reminded me of that comment that I “jokingly” made and said that’s the problem; you aren’t trying to reflect Christ likeness.  As Jesus is hanging on the cross and people are standing below Him sneering and mocking Him, He says to God, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34, NIV). Jesus had every right to be upset, fuss, yell, tell them off, but instead He asked God to forgive them. Yes people will hurt you, sometimes intentionally other times maybe not, but you can’t afford to allow those seeds of anger, betrayal, or bitterness to be planted and hinder you from showing Christ likeness.  People will try to get you to act out of character especially when you carry the title of “Christian” so when you act like a fool they can look you up and down and say “but you’re supposed to be a Christian.” I think sometimes people believe that because we are Christians that we HAVE to put up with any and everything or that we can’t be upset. I beg to differ; God did not create us to be weak, door mats, or people’s verbal punching bags. Furthermore, His word tells us to be angry but sin not (Ephesians 4:26). It’s okay to be angry but it’s how we respond that makes the difference between us and those who don’t belong to Christ. The longer you hold onto whatever or whoever hurt you the more way you give for sin to begin to take root in unforgiveness. You can’t afford that. Let go of who hurt you.

a.      BONUS: Don’t take it personal: Most people who do things or say things to hurt you, it really has absolutely nothing to do with you. Does that it make it okay? No, but if you can learn not to take it personal you’ve already won half the battle. Pray for the people who've hurt you and ask God to change your heart towards them and also to change their hearts. The more you magnify the problem the more you will be focused on what is wrong. Choose to magnify the desire to want to see Gods best in their life instead and God will begin to pull off the layers of hurt in you.

3. 

      Forgive quickly:  Matthew 6:15 tells us that if we don’t forgive others for their sins than God won’t forgive us. It’s so easy to want to justify our unforgiveness by saying well so and so hurt me, or they’ve done the unthinkable to me and I could never forgive them. Imagine if God responded to us in that way when we sin against Him. I think sometimes we have the misconception that forgiving a person means that we still have to be buddy buddy with them and hold hands together and walk through the park. Uhm no, I whole heartedly believe that you can forgive a person and go your separate ways. Everyone is not meant to be in your life and sometimes forgiveness also comes with cutting ties and that’s perfectly okay but you have to forgive. It’s also not just about forgiving but learning to forgive quickly. Unforgiveness hurts you, not them. Remember that. Learn to accept an apology you never got and may never get.

4.       Try the spirit by the spirit: So jacked up Jackie showed you that her true color was doo doo brown yet you kept trying to make it pretty and perfect pink. Now you got burned and you “never saw it coming.” Lies. Jackie showed you she was up to no good but you refused to see it. That's not Jackie's fault, that's on you honey. God will not blind side you with people, but you have to learn how to allow the Holy Spirit to give you the insider details on a person. The Holy Spirit will check you on people but you have to pay attention! We have a tendency to see what we want to see in people especially if it’s someone that we want to be in a relationship with or befriend. God’s trying to keep you from some mess, but you keep trying to make things work with relationships that are messing you up because you had no business being yoked up with that person. Pay attention to the signs about people that God shows you. Believe it or not, He really does know who is best for you and who can bring out the best in you and also who will bring out the worst. When people show you their true colors stop acting like you’re color blind and don’t see it! What’s a red flag today will likely still be a red flag 5-10 years from now. Pay attention.

5.   

    You can’t carry other peoples burdens/don’t be an enabler: I get it, you want to help right? You want people to feel connected to you. You want to encourage people and hold their hand through the struggle/the process.  Trust me I get it. Here’s the thing, people have a tendency to constantly dump their stuff on you not even intentionally sometimes but because they see or think that you’re strong in your faith so they believe you can get a prayer through. They keep dumping their problems on you and you keep receiving it and now it’s weighing you down. Instead of them seeking God, they’re seeking you to help them. They run to you, not God, when they need relief or an encouraging word. They don’t open their bible they turn to their phone or email to reach you. Now you’re over here feeling empty because you’re all poured out yet no one is pouring into you. One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in my walk with Christ is that I cannot be effective in sharing Christ with people if I’m burned out, empty, and all over the place.  You have to realize that if your own burden is not for you to carry, why do you think God wants you to carry someone else’s? You have to learn to pray for others but also point each other to Christ and the word so that people do not become dependent on you and before you know it now you’re a “god” to this person. Yup you’re they’re idol and no human being can replace God point blank and the period the end.

This is not everything but just a bit of what God placed on my heart. We will always have to deal with people; it just is what it is. Allow God to give you guidance and direction because He knows how to deal with each and every one of us. Be encouraged!

The Devil Ain't Always Busy, Sometimes You're the Problem

If I can be real honest, God read me all up and down before lunchtime today! I believe transparency is extremely important in your walk with Christ because you can bless others by talking about how God is continuing to work in you. I always say that the things that we go through are never just for us but to bless someone else from our lesson as well. 

 The devil ain’t always busy and up to something. Sometimes YOU are just busy ignoring God.

As I’m driving to work this morning, God kept putting the words from my best friend’s prayer last night in my mind, “keep your eyes fixed on God.” Focus, FOcus, FOCus, FOCUs, FOCUS! That’s literally how I felt the words were showing up in my mind. God was showing me that He needs me to be focused not for myself but so that I can effectively help others. To break it down in the message version, Angel I don’t have time to play with you! I need you focused now period and the end. Got a problem with that? Good, didn’t think so. Yes, all up in my face before 8 am! 

Long story short, God placed something on my heart about a week ago that is requiring me to delegate responsibility and involve people in various ways for the vision. This is something that is difficult for me to do because I find it difficult to find dependable people to delegate to then I also get concerned about having to put out fires, and correcting things that are said that don’t line up with the word of God by someone that is linked to me, etc. So God has been showing me various things regarding this vision and I have had multiple conversations with people who I consider wise council that have stated the necessity of delegating and that pretty much I can’t be superwoman and do everything on my own. As I’m sitting at work this morning, I start thinking again about different people/things that God has shown me and I’m questioning every detail about it. Can they do this? What are their intentions? What if this happens or that happens? What if they don’t do it? How will it work? As I’m thinking about all of this I had already said “I’m not sure about this” to various things/people that God was showing me regarding certain things all week. In the midst of all this I see myself walking and closing doors. These are all doors that are open remind you, and I’m going through and closing each of them. Then God shows me that’s what you’re doing with the doors I’m trying to open for you…Completely messed me all kinds of up! He showed me that I’m so caught up in what I think is best, what I think I know, what I think is right that I’m hindering my own blessings because He’s opening doors to reach more people and to network and my busy body self is coming right behind Him slamming them shut. God’s screaming ANGEL!!! Take your hands off of everything, step back from it, and let ME take the lead! Rest, please and thanks!! God has to deal with me like that because I get so busy being busy doing absolutely nothing but running in circles that He just has to gut punch me every once in awhile. That’s how we roll.

Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to, “trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct thy paths” (KJV). The funny thing is we incorrectly paraphrase scriptures with our lives and don’t even realize it. Well what in the world does that mean? We quote the scriptures and we verbalize them to people but the way we live it is different from what we say or what the actual context is. So we quote Proverbs 3:5-6 as one of our favorite scriptures but we live it as though it says, “trust in the Lord with the parts of your heart that make sense or satisfy how you feel at any given moment; and lean not on your own understanding unless God is taking too long or doesn’t give you the answer that you want than go on ahead and shoulder lean on it (HFV aka Human in Feelings Version, don’t buy that version FYI).

            Day in and day out we continue to lean unto our own understanding when God desires to lead us and guide us but we just swear up and down that we know best. He can’t take control if we won’t give up our own control. Do you not realize that He created you for the very thing that He has given to you and wants to teach you how to hone your gifts and visions and develop them so that you can be effective in helping others to know Him! Psalm 32:8 reminds us of this, “I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with Mine eye” (KJV). We have the best coach ever yet we ignore Him…the Holy Spirit is given to us to guide us so if we choose not to follow it or even question it’s leading are we not saying that we don’t trust the Holy Spirit? Sometimes you have to really break things down and look at it like okay, by me not doing this or that what am I really saying to God? 

           

            We’re so quick to say the devil is busy blocking our blessings! The devil sho is up to something, got me stressed out, this that and the forth. Uhm no, sometimes it’s YOU honey. Sometimes you are the problem, closing doors on your own blessings, and keeping God from using you to your full potential. My pastor always says the devil is our enemy but sometimes our other greatest enemy is our own selves. We hinder the spirit of God in our own lives and we blame it on the devil and he looking back laughing at you with his little fallen angel’s geeking it up watching you self destruct. Stop feeding the nonsense. We don’t have time to sit around and fight God on the things that He is trying to do through us and in us. We’re on the same team! Why are you trying to go back and forth with God on the things that He is trying to bless you with and also bless someone else in the process? Rest, He’s got this. Whatever it is that you’re so busy doing right now, stop. Take your hands off of it and just stop. Stop and go before the Lord in prayer and say God above all else, Your will be done. If it’s not in God’s will it’s going to fall apart and it’s going to stress you out in the process. When God ordains it, it just works. Stop questions the when, the how, and what’s. You have to let Him take the lead because believe it or not you really are not capable of leading yourself. So many of us are getting our ballroom dancing on in this world trying to lead and follow at the same time while God is sitting in the audience like you don’t even realize I’ve stepped off the dance floor. You have to let Him take the lead and you have to sit down and follow period.

            If you read this all the way to the end I’m sure you’re thinking uhm excuse me Angel but did you forget that you told on yourself in the beginning??? Hypocrite much! Trust me when I say the message hits the messenger first. What I share is because God convicted me to change and my prayer is that in sharing the lesson I learned that it will convict someone else to change as well.

  

“A man’s heart deviseth his way; but the Lord directeth his steps” (Proverbs 16:9, KJV).

Enslaved By Your Own Emotions

“Anything I put before my God is an idol and anything I want with all my heart is an idol. Anything I can’t stop thinking of is an idol.”

When we think of idols we typically think of the golden calf or we think of how we’ve allowed people or possessions to become an idol. We fail to acknowledge the idols that we’ve created that are not tangible. That includes all of those feelings and emotions that we allow to run wild and keep us from spending time with God and giving our cares to Him. Granted, I get that may seem like a stretch when you think of idol worshiping. You wouldn’t say that you worship your up and down emotions and you definitely wouldn’t say that you admire those fickle feelings. However, we continue to allow fear, worry, anxiety, stress, anger, and all these other feelings come between us and our relationship with God. We allow these “feelings” to take over and torment our hearts and mind as we entertain what we feel like on any given day instead of trusting and believing God’s Word. We don’t turn to God to help us through our day instead we let our little feelings fester and take over and now our day is based off of how we feel versus who we are (need a reminder of who you are? Listen to this song). We believe the status of our troubles and our problems more than we believe God. We don’t even realize how we allow these feelings to take over and become idols in our lives but just as we give our time and energy to people and things when we make them idols, we do the same as we continue to feed our feelings. Anything that you put before God is an idol.

I’m aware of how girly this is going to sound, feel free to judge me, but when I’m feeling down I have to shop. When I buy stuff it pacifies my feelings and then I feel better and if I can’t find anything I want to buy I continue to feel down and stay in a rut. Crazy, trust me I know. FYI, yes shopping can be an idol as well. I was having a pretty down week and I was getting dressed to go shopping and something says why are you trying to replace Me? Why do you continue to try to fill voids without Me? You know better…When you get that gut instinct about things or you hear that little voice in your head it’s not simply just your conscience. It’s the conviction of the Holy Spirit trying to get your attention. God is trying to get your attention! He’s trying to bring you back to Him and get your focus off of the crazy emotional rollercoaster that your feelings have had you flying around on forever. But instead of turning to God we allow these things to fester and we continue to feed these negative emotions. Don’t you know that God desires to help you with every single aspect of your life and not just the “church” stuff? He so desires to show you how much more He can do in your life if you would just stop putting Him into this box of what you think He is and is not capable of. 

God’s looking down at you saying My child, give Me your worries. I care about you. I love you. I want to take the weight of your burdens from you but you don’t trust Me to handle it. I won’t fail you, I haven’t failed you yet. My yoke is easy and my burden is light. I didn’t give you this life for you to be burdened by it. Let go of the worry, let go of the anger, let go of the fear, let go of who hurt you. Trust Me when I say I’ve got you covered. 

 Allow God to be your peace in the midst of stress and fear. Stop worrying about what tomorrow is going to bring (Matthew 6:34). We get so worked up about things that haven’t happened for us yet and we fear things that may never even happen. We miss being present for today because we’re stressed and worried about tomorrow. Allow God to take care of you and handle your cares and frustrations. I say allow because God wants to take care of you! He wants to cover you and shower you with His love, joy, and peace but you have to receive it. Don’t allow your feelings to replace God in your heart. Sometimes our fear that God won’t be able to take care of us or our problems is greater than the truth and belief that He can. The enemy knows your fears and insecurities just as God does and he loves to fuel that fire of your up and down feelings. It’s time to put that fire out; stop fueling that fire. Do you know what happens when you stop feeding something? It will eventually starve. Stop feeding those things that you know are not of God.  God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). That little tidbit was not just put into the bible for kicks and giggles. It was put there because it is the true word of the living God. I don’t know what you believe, but I still believe God to be the Great I Am and not the Great I might be or the Great I was. Ain’t nothing changed but the day. Take your eyes off of what’s wrong and allow God to establish your foundation on the solid Rock and not your fickle emotions. Stop looking at your situation and get your eyes on the One who can change things. Great life tip, the best way to encourage yourself is to encourage someone else.

Fully persuaded? A call to obedience

Think about all the things that we say yes to daily; the things that we don’t even want to do, the things that we are unsure about, the things that we say yes to knowing that it may have some negative consequences. Now, think about why is it so difficult for us to say yes to Christ? We say yes to so many things yet when Jesus gives us a command we answer Him as if He’s given us a multiple choice question like we have options in obeying Him. The Word tells us in Matthew 5:37, “But let your communication be yea, yea; nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil” (KJV).  So why do so many of us continue to give Jesus a “maybe, not right now, I can’t/don’t want to do it” type of response? A command is not an essay question for us to give this long drawn out response as to why we can’t do what He has told us to do right now.

There are so many believers that have so many excuses as to why they can’t fully submit to Christ and a lot of it has to do with them having that King Agrippa spirit. You know the one that’s not quite fully persuaded to follow Christ yet (Acts 26:28). They’ve heard the Word, know who Jesus is, but has yet to truly make a commitment to serving Him because they still feel as though they have other options or time. They haven’t made up in their mind whether or not they will really serve Christ because they don’t know if it is something that they really want to do yet. They don’t want to lose themselves and they still think that they are capable of going through life their way.

Just follow me…I developed benign tumors a couple of years ago and I had a surgery to have three removed in January of last year. After that new ones continued to grow and they kept getting larger and I was talking to my doctor about my frustration with it and she pretty much said you either learn to live with them or you keep having this surgery to have them removed. So I’m thinking there has to be a way to get these things under control so I go on Google to see of any “natural” remedies or alternatives to surgery and the only thing I could find was trying a vegetarian diet to help keep the tumors under control. I’m thinking uhm no! I love me some chicken, forget the red meat and pork I can’t do without my chicken!!! So I tried exercising, eating healthier (well somewhat…) and anything else I could think of to try and get these bad boys under control. Flash forward, I go back to the doctor and they’re continuing to grow. I was tired, upset, frustrated, and anything else you can think of. I decided three months ago to try out this whole vegetarian diet and that decision came about because I had finally gotten to a point of desperation where I tried everything else and it didn’t work. I gave up my old eating habits, the things I loved (all things chicken), and walked into this foreign territory because I didn’t want to continue dealing with the same thing.

I say all this to say thay you don't have to wait until you hit rock bottom to finally submit to Christ but some of us need to get to that place of desperation with Jesus where we realize that we’ve tried everything else and it doesn’t work. Where we are so tired of dealing with the same mess; tired of falling over the same stumbling blocks; tired of hitting the same brick wall. We know what the answer is but we keep avoiding it because we aren’t willing to fully commit and walk into this unknown territory and leave what we use to know behind to follow Him. We don’t want to give up our lives to serve Christ but let’s be reminded that Jesus tells the people “for whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for My sake shall find it” (Matthew 16:25, KJV). Come close, let me share with you a little secret; YOU DON’T BELONG TO YOURSELF! Your life is not your own! (1 Corinthians 6:19). You were bought with a price; a price that only Jesus could pay when He died for our sins on Calvary. Stop trying to figure out a life that does not belong to you! People always say you need to go and have all these experiences in order to find yourself...NO you need to go find Jesus. 

   Now on the other hand, you have those who are ready to follow Christ but they make the mistake of trying to bring their old baggage into their new relationship with Christ. In Luke 9:3, Jesus tells His disciples, “take nothing for your journey, neither staff, nor bag, neither bread, neither money; neither have two coats apiece” (KJV). Jesus sent His disciples out to do the work and told them to not bring anything with them. Think about when you’re traveling; the more luggage that you have, the slower you move. It takes you longer to get to your destination because you have to wait at the airport to get all your mess and then carry it out as it weighs you down. It’s time for us to clean up the clutter. Too often people try to live for Christ while carrying excess baggage that He told them to lay aside! There are too many people who continue to hold on to things that are killing them spiritually and some naturally. They hold on to dead relationships, addictions, anger and unforgiveness, and they wonder why they can’t go forward. Let it go! Jesus wants His people to stop waiting at baggage claims to pick up the baggage that was dropped off at the beginning of their destination. Get rid of the distractions and the things that are cluttering you from getting closer to Jesus. I get tired of hearing people say that God can bless your mess. It’s not because I don’t think that He can because He can do all things, but when are we going to get tired of continuously giving God mess???

I told God I wanted to be obedient to Him and that I wanted to fully submit my life over to Him and you know what the first thing was that He told me to do? It wasn’t to go start a ministry, it wasn’t to preach, and it wasn’t to write a book. He showed me the word CLUTTER and said get rid of it. He showed me that He needed to me to get rid of the junk, the clutter, both spiritually and naturally to allow room for Him to come in. I’ll be honest, He told me to clean up my room to make room for His presence. You wouldn’t invite people to come to your house messy so don’t welcome My presence into your mess…yup messed me all kinds of up! He showed me to be obedient in the small things first and then He would give me the bigger things. We have to show ourselves to be faithful in the small things so that God can see that we have enough character to handle the bigger tasks (Matthew 25:14-28).

            Obedience is what will open the door to your purpose. So often we look at what other people have accomplished in God and we want what they have. Be content with your portion. God created each of us with a purpose in mind and what He created for us is not going to be for anyone else. We have to learn to stay in our lane. When you’re on the highway, if you get into the fast lane and you’re going below the speed limit or even doing the speed limit people will try to run you over. Stop trying to get into other people’s lane because that can destroy you. You will get run over, messed up, and broken trying to live out someone elses purpose. You’re not equipped to handle what God gave to them; He will equip you to handle what He has for you and you alone. What God created for you will not belong to anyone else. Stop looking at what everybody else is doing and keep your eyes on Christ. Don’t lose sight of what God has commanded of you. Every day wake up and commit to submitting to Christ and laying down your life to follow God’s will for your life and not your own. Choose today to set aside all the things that have distracted you and gotten you off course from serving God. Repent, lay aside your clutter, and walk in Him.