Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Dear Woman: Not A Virgin

Dear Woman,
    Today I want to talk to you about a moment I just had…I was reading someone’s testimony about being a virgin on her wedding night and I had a moment where I (insert emoji with the sad face) thought, “I wish I would have waited so that I could have been a virgin on my wedding night.” As Christian women we don’t ever really talk about this though and I’m not really sure why but if I can be honest I’ve kind of had this complex once I got saved about not being able to give my husband that  gift one day. I often think about how I wished abstinence was more enforced when I was younger or how I wished I wasn’t just talked to about safe sex but not having sex altogether. We often hear women proudly talk about how they saved themselves for marriage, as they should be proud, but what about the other side? What about the women who feel or have felt less than or not as worthy because they fell into the trap of sexual immorality? What about the born again women who did give into fornication in the past but are now living for God and are practicing abstinence?  It’s a touchy topic but let’s talk about it.

    There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit (Romans 8:1, KJV).  The first question I have to ask is do you believe the word of God to be true? The next questions are do you belong to Jesus and are you pursuing Him and not your flesh?  If yes, then stop condemning yourself! It is the tactic of the enemy to try to condemn us by our past. Let him have a field day with that because we don’t live there anymore. Chuck up the deuces and continue to walk forward in who you are in Christ Jesus. Second Corinthians 5:17 tells us, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (KJV). Old things are passed away so stop holding on to the old things girlfran. This includes even when the people who “use” to know you try to throw old things up in your face because they think that you think you’re all holier than thou now because you’re saved. It's not that you think you're better than anyone, you  just really want to share Christ with people and talk about how He’s changed your life but oh girl on facebook that you didn’t get along with in high school, college, or whatever, sends you a message saying that no matter how many Jesus things you post, she still remembers when you were a hoe, or someone reminds you of that abortion that you had, or even worst say you’re “not clean” or not pure because you were raped…words hurt, trust me I know, but you can’t afford to allow people to condemn you and you can’t condemn yourself. Pray for those people as we know hurt people, hurt people and it really has nothing to do with you for real. If we are condemned that would mean Jesus died for nothing…join me as I sing “Lies you tell, from the pits of hell.”

    No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it (1 Cor. 10:13, KJV).  I definitely do not want to downplay or act as though women who are virgins do not struggle with being pure; that is definitely not my intention.  However, there is a difference in being curious about something you’ve never had, versus already opening up the can of worms, knowing how the equipment works, the feeling, etc. Ya’ll get where I’m going with that! After you have had sex let’s be honest the struggle to not be tempted to do it again is real beyond belief. Sexual sin is one of the biggest sins that the church deals with yet it’s never really discussed. We have to be real and honest with where we are in our walk with Christ and allow Him to take the lead in our life so that we will not give into temptation. For me personally, I had to cut out a lot of TV shows and secular music because there are a ton of songs with sexual innuendos and sultry sounds that can take your mind off of all things Jesus quick and in a hurry. Now you’re ready to hit up no good Nathan because you want some companionship. Nope, shut those thoughts and temptations down from the get go. God will provide us with a way out but we can’t wait until we’re in the bed and then start asking God to give us a way out! No ma’am, trust and believe He will give you the check in your spirit way before that point but you have to pay attention and take heed to the leading of the Holy Spirit! Guard your heart ladies.

    So you’re not a virgin, but you’re pursuing Christ and you have locked up the key to the cookie jar until your Adam is awakened. Stop keeping record of your wrong when Jesus’ blood erased it when you chose to give Him your life.  You are not tarnished goods because of your past but you are a child of the one true King.  God is proud of you for allowing Him to make the change in you to honor Him with your purity now. You are worthy, you are purified by the blood of Jesus, you are loved, and you are woman.

Love you ladies xoxo

P.S. Don't forget to check out the new Changed Hearts: I AM Woman site that can be accessed through!

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